Marriage is a process involving two complex and ever-changing sets of behavior; therefore, continuous and perfect harmony in marriage is impossible. It is possible, however, to achieve a useful, livable, and workable relationship. Most marriages are characterized by discord; reversing the trend toward destructiveness and taking steps toward learning to work as a team requires patience and courage. Most of all, it requires the desire to change.
When the two systems (male and female) are abrading each other, it is difficult for the parties to sit down and straighten things out in the same mechanical way that one would clean out a
The do-it-yourself material which follows will not guarantee a perfect marriage, or even a workable marriage. However, if the suggestions are studied and seriously applied they may stimulate a pattern and pace of thinking which may:
- Prevent constant repetition of old, destructive patterns;
- Stop small problems from becoming big problems;
- Point toward broad relationship goals;
- Force spouses or prospective spouses to explore certain areas which they have avoided or which social customs have formerly forbidden them to explore;
- Assist couples in recognizing that a large number of so-called experts are giving (and charging for) tests and counsel that are not effective; and that the nature of much of this counsel leads people into easy-but spurious-conclusions which often are destructive to the marriage. You may find that your marriage is much better than you think.
