“Focus on the couple and don’t make it overly sarcastic. Try instead to add some humor as a way of setting the tone for the rest of the evening.”
“Let the crowd get a feeling for the couple and not just the Groom, and let them express some of their good wishes. A good speech brings everyone together.”
“Mention your friendship with the Groom and mention how much you believe the Bride and Groom belong together.”
“Be short and sweet, with humor, sincerity, some emotion, and good stage presence.”
“A speech should be fun, sentimental, anecdotal, language-appropriate, welcoming.”
“Be short and to the point with your embarrassing comments, and overall keep it in good taste.”
Survey Responses: The Best and Worst Speeches
Best: “Boyhood friend (like a brother) spoke of how he was jealous of the Bride when she came into the picture. He ended with the joke that he now loves her more than the Groom. It was met with many laughs, as he wished them all the best.”
“The Best Man spoke about the fact that he was unique because he was one of the few people in the room who knew the Bride and Groom not as individuals but only as a couple. He spoke in an appropriate way about the Groom’s late mother. He gave a good ending toast.”
“The Best Man described the couple as a good pizza and beer. He was the pizza and she was the beer. This went over well, but it had moments when you thought he was going to crash and burn. It turns out he’s an actor and any other person with less stage presence wouldn’t have pulled it off half as well.”
Worst: “Speech by the father of the Groom who was the Best Man. I expected something remotely sentimental for his only son and so did the Groom. Instead this quote sums up the tone of his speech: Those who support us we wish you well and those that don’t can go to hell.”
“All bad Best Men speeches have similar traits: the appearance that the Best Man doesn’t want to be doing it, too short, not audible, inappropriate humor, inappropriate language, and an insincere toast that isn’t funny or heartwarming.”
“I spoke too long. People wanted to dance.”
“The worst speeches are the ones concerning drunken weekends and spring break parties.”
“The Best Man talked about the Groom’s horrible ex-wife. Ouch!”
“As everybody should know, humor has to be appropriate for the setting. Nothing is more distasteful than a Best Man’s speech with sexual overtones and foul language.”
“I give them six months.”
How Long Should the Speech Be?
The good news is that the Best Man’s speech doesn’t have to be very long. The surveys seem to peg the best length between one to five minutes or five to ten minutes. The speech should never be longer than ten minutes, and it’s better on the shorter side. I’ve even heard a speech that was about ten seconds that worked.
At my sister’s wedding, the Best Man delivered a speech that worked very nicely for him; he wasn’t comfortable speaking in public, but he was sincere: “You sit here in the company of your friends and family, those you have shown love and respect over many years. May you both forever share that same love and respect for each other.” 