It’s a wedding fact. There will be some people on your guest list who don’t RSVP to your wedding invitations. You’ll be left wondering what to do. Have no fear. There are some easy ways to get to your final guest count.
Lay out all the RSVP cards you’ve received back. Have mom or your future mother in law help you with this task as they may know more of the people on the list than you do. Take a count of everyone who has responded. You can also start planning a tentative seating chart at the same time if you are only missing a few responses.
Next, create a list of all the guests you have invited who have not responded. It’s best to have someone read off the names of the people who have responded and have someone else check them off the master guest list. Go down the list and highlight anyone who has not responded.
Now comes the time consuming part. If you have just four or five people who have not responded, it’s no big deal. But if you have 20 or more, you’re going to have to assemble a task force to help you.
You’re going to have to call every person on the list who has not responded. This is where it gets a little tricky. If you don’t know the person, it’s a bit awkward to call them up as the bride and ask if they are coming. That’s why you’ve got a group of people who can help you. If it’s your future mother in law’s old best friend from high school, you will assign her to make the call. If it’s your fiancé’s boss’s daughter whom neither of you have met, you assign your fiancé to make the call to his boss. The idea is to get to the person who is closest to someone you actually know and can call. It’s perfectly find to have your fiancé call and say, “Hi Bart, the wedding’s a week away and we don’t seem to have a card back from your daughter Rose. Do you know if she’s coming?” Most times, the person will say, “Oh, yes, she mentioned that she was going to put that in the mail today, so count her in.”
Try to avoid calling anyone you don’t know yourself. Ditto for your fiancé. Someone knows the person on the list or they would not have been invited. So track down the closest friend or relative to the missing responder and have that person call.
Assign most of the tasks to your mom and future mother in law. People will not mind getting a call from them. If neither of them is available, have your closest bridesmaid make a few of the calls. It’s expected that someone will be following up, so the call is not intrusive.
But what if you’ve tried calling everyone and you’ve still got some non-responders? If you weren’t able to reach certain people, you’re going to have to count them in. Yes, unfortunately, you will have to pay for some dinners for the no-shows. It’s the only way since you haven’t definitely heard back that they aren’t coming. It would be terribly awkward if they were to show up and find no seat available for them.
Here’s how you handle the no-shows. You build your seating chart around them. There will be tables towards the back where friends are going to be seated. Intersperse them there. That way if they show up, they have seats, food and wedding favors. If they don’t show up, there are only one or two empty seats. Do not place all the non-responders at one table because if they don’t show you’re going to have a whole vacant table. So sprinkle them throughout the back tables where their absence will be less noticeable.
Over-count by a few people with your caterer just in case. It’s better to have a few extra steaks on hand then to be embarrassed if someone shows up unexpectedly.
More Invitation & RSVP Advice:
- Ordering Wedding Invitations
- Cheap Wedding Tips - Invitations
- Should You Send Save the Date Cards?
- Stylish RSVP Card Wording
- RSVP Drama & How to Handle it Gracefully
