When you’re invited to a wedding, all sorts of things start to go through your mind. What should you wear? Are you going to have to take time off from work to travel there? Who should I bring as my date? These are all things to consider and will vary depending on your own situation. One question that’s universal to everyone is “How much should I give as a gift?”
This can be tricky. There are some things to think about before you can answer that question and settle on an amount.
First, how close are you to the bride and groom? If you are immediate family, you will want to give more. If you are simply an office co-worker, you may not want to, or be able to, give over the top. With times as tight as they are, even the people we would like to shower with wedding gift baskets won’t be getting as much as they would if the economy were different.
This is when you have to assess your own situation. Are you in a financial bind? Do you have extra cash to give? Do you have to include travel expenses in your budget? Are you part of the wedding party and have to purchase a dress and shoes?
Take a good look at where you stand on the wedding obligations. If you are not really involved in the wedding, go by the following guidelines.
Traditionally, it was thought that you should give enough of a gift to pay for your meal and that of your date’s. However, times have changed. How will you know what you dinner cost anyway? A good rule of thumb is to give as much as you can comfortably. Start with $100 per person as a guideline. If you can comfortably afford that, then go up from there if you are close to the couple. You should pay for your date’s dinner as part of your gift if they don’t know the bride and groom and are simply accompanying you to the wedding.
What if you’re strapped for cash? Well, you have a few options. You could decline to come to the wedding, but that’s a last resort. Chances are the bride and groom really want you there, or they wouldn’t have invited you. So, they’d rather see you there even if you don’t come bearing expensive wedding gifts. Consider that.
Second, you can opt for a non cash gift. You can get a lot of attractive presents that look expensive but weren’t, at discount stores these days. Check on the bride and groom’s registry for the items they want then shop the discount stores to see if you can find the exact same thing at a fraction of the price. They won’t know what you paid, and you’ll feel good that you didn’t go over budget. Wrap your gift nicely and bring it with you or send it ahead of the wedding. Just because you can’t afford to outlay cash doesn’t mean your gift can’t look extravagant.
Following these guidelines is one way to calculate how much you should give. Another way is to follow your heart and your instincts. Being overly generous is fine. However, if it’s possible, you should still estimate $100 per person to be safe and go from there.
More Wedding Advice from Guest Perspective:
- Don't be a Bad Guest - What Not to Wear to the Wedding
- How to Make a Wedding and Honeymoon Gift Basket
- 5 Unique Wedding Gift Ideas
