Congratulations! You’re engaged! Now how do you go about letting everyone know? There are a few rules to follow before you start spreading the news.
These days, it’s not as common as it used to be for the man to ask the lady’s father for her hand in marriage before he asks her. If you have a true gentleman in your life who followed this darling tradition, you’re ahead of the game. If not, don’t worry. If your fiancé surprised you and asked you to marry him without asking your dad’s permission, you get to announce it to your parents yourself.
Start off by telling the bride’s parents. It’s best to take them out to dinner or if you’re less formal, pop over the same day with your engagement ring and shout out the happy news. There will be lots of excitement and wedding planning. Don’t forget, however, that you need to get over to the groom’s parents right away so they don’t feel left out.
Head over to the groom’s parents, or if they are far away, make a phone call where you are both on the phone. That way it’s more like being there rather than just having the groom make the call. Be prepared for more planning and lots of questions. If you’re not prepared to answer, be honest and say you haven’t thought that far into the future yet.
Once you’ve told both sets of parents, don’t forget any step parents. Especially if they are not close to you or your fiancé, it’s important to include them right away. Let them make the choice on how involved they want to be from there.
Next, it’s on to any children you or your fiancé may have from a previous marriage. If possible, tell them in person. Depending on their ages, be prepared for any reaction from joy to pouting. It may feel to them that they are “losing” their father or mother to another person. Be sympathetic.
Now that you’ve told the immediate people, tell sisters, brothers and cousins you are close to. It’s best to make a phone call yourself but these days email is faster and easier. Just be sure your email is light hearted and polished. You might say something like, “Guess what? (as your subject line) Don popped the question! We’re engaged! We’re so excited and will let you know our plans as we make them.”
Try to avoid giving any specifics like the date or location of the wedding as these may change and you’ll have to retell everyone. And above all, do not invite anyone to be in your bridal party at this time. You’ll need some time to think about it when your head is clearer. The worst thing you can do is ask someone and then change your mind. Never do that.
After you’ve told the people who are closest to you, prepare an announcement for the newspapers. These days, it’s also common to post your news on a wedding site.
One final note: never include details about where you want to register with your engagement news. It’s considered in bad taste. You’re simply sharing the news of how happy you are to be getting married. Leave any details about registry, bridal showers and bachelorette parties until later. Next up, save the dates!
Starting to plan your wedding:
Planning A Wedding - Tips and Timelines
Planning a Destination Wedding
Tips for Planning your own Wedding
Tips for Choosing Your Wedding Colors
