It used to be a set rule that the bride’s family paid for everything. From the moment a father hears that he’s having a daughter, thoughts turn to that wedding bill that he’ll have to foot one day. But that’s not really the case anymore. More and more couples are paying for their own weddings. They may both have good jobs and be in a position to do so. Or their parents may not be able to contribute in the way they’d like. Today’s rules have changed. But if you want to know what tradition dictates, here are some guidelines.
Typically, the bride’s family is responsible for the big expenses. They pay for the wedding reception including all food, rental fees, reception decorations, and any vendors who will be used for the reception. They also pay for the ceremony and any decorations or expenses associated with it. All flowers are also the responsibility of the bride’s side. Invitations and postage as well as any other printed materials, like the program are also on the bride’s family tab. Just about everything you can imagine going into a wedding is also the bride’s family’s responsibility including the limos, photographer or videographer, and the bride’s dress.
Doesn’t the groom’s side pay for anything? Yes. The groom’s family is supposed to pay for the entire rehearsal dinner with all its accouterments including the invites and décor. They are also supposed to pay for any alcohol and foods served at the rehearsal dinner and are supposed to help in the planning of it.
The bride herself is expected to pay for her groom’s ring and a gift to him. She will also pay for her own spa treatment, nails, hair and any other beauty products or services she wants to go for. She should also get bridesmaid gifts.
The groom has to come up with the cash for the honeymoon and the bride’s engagement and wedding ring. He is also supposed to pay for the bride’s bouquet and any corsages or boutonnieres for the bridal party. If there’s a fee for using the church or for the officiant, the groom pays those costs as well.
These are yesterday’s expectations. Many times the bride and groom pool their resources and accept help from whoever offers. With step-parents involved, cash may come in from all sides and it’s not generally told who paid for which portions of the day. The bride’s family, if possible, is still expected to shoulder much of the costs and will usually be considered the primary funders when guests come to a wedding. If the groom’s family paid for everything, it’s in poor taste to go around announcing it or even mentioning it to anyone but the closest of family. You may think that you should make some sort of nod to their contribution, but publicly it’s considered in poor taste. Write anyone who helped pay for your day a special thank you note after the wedding or give them a small gift the day of the wedding with a note of thanks to show your appreciation.
Anything goes these days. If you are strapped for cash and have no family support, scale down your wedding. You decide how big or small your wedding will be, not the guests.
More on Wedding Etiquette:
- Most Popular Wedding Registries
- Dress Etiquette for the Mother of the Bride
- Dress Etiquette ? Mother of the Groom
- Should You Send Save the Date Cards?
- Wedding Invitation Etiquette
- RSVP Drama & How to Handle it Gracefully
