If you’ve been chosen as a groomsman, you’re very special to the groom, and most likely, the bride as well. If you’re old pals, brothers, or cousins, you probably rank pretty high in the couple’s life. Take your duties seriously, but remember to have fun too.
Through all the planning, the groomsmen are there to lend a hand. You may have a super-organized couple who asks little of you until the big day. Or you may have a nervous groom who wants your advice on many things. Just be there to offer support and encouragement.
Unless you are the best man, you are not required to throw the bachelor party. You will be a welcome help in the planning, and may want to kick in for the cost, but if you’re in another city or state, your real duty is to show up for the party. If there are many out of town groomsmen, chances are it will be a few days before the wedding so everyone can get there.
You’ll pay for your own tuxedo and shoes. Any attire you’ll wear on the big day is your responsibility. The groom will let you know where to get fitted. You need to call in your measurements if you are out of town and won’t be available on site until the wedding. If you are local, go to the shop and get fitted. Be sure you go to the right store. You can check in with a tuxedo rental shop in your home town to be sure your measurements are accurate, but the actual place where you’re getting your tuxedo from needs to hear from you in advance so they’ll have your size ready.
You’ll go to all the parties. If there’s a Jack and Jill shower, you’ll be invited. So bring a gift and smile while all the presents are being opened. Clap when the crock pots and fondue sets are unwrapped. Have a drink and relax. Socialize and get to know all the other groomsmen and also the bridesmaids and the family. You’ll feel more relaxed when the actual wedding day comes.
On the day of the wedding, you’ll be escorting guests to their seats. You’ll walk the couple’s grandparents to their seats and also anyone who is not in the wedding party and won’t be walking down the aisle once the ceremony starts. You’ll get direction from the bride and groom, so don’t worry about where you’re supposed to be. However, you do need to ensure that you are there well in advance and are dressed and ready to roll. The last thing you want is to hold up the ceremony while the groom goes looking for you. Be sure you have accurate directions to the church and don’t oversleep.
You’ll escort a particular bridesmaid at the wedding. Most weddings pair the bridesmaids and the groomsmen equally. But don’t be surprised if you are escorting two ladies. You will be walking your partner(s) down the aisle after the ceremony and also dancing with them at the reception. If you don’t know each other, just make polite conversation about how pretty the bride looks and soon you’ll be feeling comfortable.
Socialize and dance with any young ladies who came by themselves. You’ll be doing the bride and groom a big favor in ensuring that people are having fun and up and dancing.
You will want to give a gift for any shower or bachelor party you are invited to (even if you can’t attend) and also a wedding gift. Think of your relationship to the bride and groom and try to give a present that is unique and useful. You may want to go in with other groomsmen for a bigger gift. Often the whole party will come up with a great idea and go in on it together. Just be sure your name gets on the card. If you are lucky, and have done a great job, your groom will usually present you all with groomsmen gifts to thank you for your efforts.
On to the next one! Read all about the roles of the bridal party.
