Being the mother-of the bride may be romantic and beautiful, but it can also be a very stressful process. We interviewed Wedding Planners and a Family Psychologist to get their tips on how a MoB can help. Also, there are a few small things a mother-of-the-bride can do to make the event a little bit easier for the bride to make her a happy bride. Here we highlight the wedding etiquette and what the bride really wishes her parents would do to stop her to going crazy. Mothers of the Bride can help with weddings in so many ways!
1. Be honest about finances
Parents are under no obligation to make a cash contribution to their child's wedding. In modern times, brides and their grooms tend to be financially established and able to cover costs of their own weddings. Although, parents need to feel obligated to start the conversation about contributions they intend to make towards the big day. It can be awkward to request for money, but not to offer it, so the bride to be might be afraid of bringing it up. At the earliest opportunity, let the couple know your plans to contribute, and how much. Also, tell them if it's a gift or loan.
If making a contribution won't be possible, the bride to be will understand, and may already be aware of the reasons for that. In such a situation, a parent can offer to give her wedding gifts or help make the day special in some other ways, maybe by baking the wedding cake, or hosting the engagement or rehearsal dinner at your home, or volunteering to help in any way the bride would like.
2. Offer to help
A wedding is a warm celebration of two people's love and their lives coming together, but the special day can be stressful for the bride. There are loads of wedding decor details to monitor, and wedding guests to keep happy. It's simply a lot for the bride to handle. You can regularly call to see if they need a hand, and particularly in the final weeks when the bride will have a lot to do. Getting a fun cake topper for her or making sure the wedding favors are all ready to go are easy things. Keep it general. Ask if they need some help and allow them to assign a task to you.
3. It’s not about you.
Although this may seem contradictory since you have offered to help, allow the couple know your financial contribution, beyond this? Stay out of it. It doesn't matter if you will be paying for the wedding in its entirety, it's not your day. You may feel some of their ideas for the wedding doesn't meet your expectations, but whatever it is, it's their choice. Respect that. Wedding etiquette demands that you let them have their day as you once did. As mentioned, the process of wedding planning is stressful enough; don't make what should be a lovely experience negative by meddling.
Be sure to listen carefully when discussing with the bride about the wedding preparations to find out if they want your opinion; if they don't, do not give it. When the bride shows you, one of. The wedding items with a grin and asks " what do you think?" "It's wonderful" is the only correct answer. If they ask you with a skeptical look, you should answer "No, really — what's on your mind?" then go ahead and give your opinion.
4. Avoid family politics.
Don't drag the bride into the middle of any family politics, and — if possible— keep them far away to it. For instance, if your daughter asks her birth father to walk her to the aisle rather than her step-father, understand and respect that decision — she will have already given it a lot of thought before she made her decision. Feuding aunts? Keep her out of it, though you can discreetly advise them to place those aunts seats away to each other.
Also, during the preparations and particularly on the wedding day (and beyond the wedding day), ensure you get along with your child's in-laws. There is nothing a happy bride would like to watch more than her parents and in-laws getting along on a special day.
5. Get Mother-of-The Bride outfit approval.
The bride may have a unique outfit in mind for the mother-of the Bride, so before you pick your wedding day attire, ensure that you run the outfit by the happy bride. There are various online wedding forums full of brides worried about how to tell their moms that they don't really want her wearing a particular outfit to their wedding. Other brides are aiming for a specific dress code that their parents as star guests of their wedding should ensure to follow. Even if you are certain that the ballgown you wore for your wedding is fine to wear, still check in with them first. Fathers can also feel free to inquire if they should wear a tie with a particular color. This is a good question because the couple may want their fathers in coordinating ties with buttonholes or even whole outfit. They may also have more casual plans and not want you a suit and tie.
Do you recall the scene in the classic film "The Wedding Planner" where the Jennifer Lopez coordinator character needed to hide the mother of the bride's "lucky microphone" to keep her to singing at the wedding reception? Yeah, do not be that mother-of-the-bride. Weddings ceremonies bring people together to all walks of life to the bride and her groom's lives, including colleagues and school friends and maybe even bosses. Also, no matter how fun-loving or easygoing your child is, they may not want certain things to be shared in front of all these people.
If you are called upon to give a speech at the wedding reception, do not embarrass the bride — or anyone else. Wondering whether to include an anecdote or a particular joke? Ask the bride. Yes, the bride and her groom— not your partner, or the best man, but the couple themselves. Keep it clean, keep it swearing-free, and keep it inoffensive. Also, check your alcohol intake regularly, and not just before your speech. Smashed parent is a terrible look for the wedding. The best wedding gifts you can give is your support and love.
Michelle has been with Wedding Favors Unlimited for nearly 20 years. Starting out in Customer Service, she’s interacted with thousands of Brides helping them navigate every detail imaginable around a wedding. She became a full-time writer for us because she realized he kept getting the same questions over and over and wanted to share them with everyone. Feel free to ask Michelle a question below!